CHICAGO -- Minnesota 18, Chicago 9.
Sure, the NFL season doesn't begin until Wednesday. But the last-place Twins thumped the first-place White Sox in a football-like manner Tuesday night at U.S. Cellular Field.
"Probably too much to talk about and not enough time to do it in," Twin manager Ron Gardenhire said to open his postgame press conference.
The main parts of Tuesday's scoring summary:
The Twins batted around and brought 12 men to the plate in a seven-run second inning, knocking out White Sox starter Jose Quintana after only four outs.
Minnesota upped the offense in the fifth inning with 14 batters combining to score a touchdown and convert the point after before Chris Parmelee split the uprights with a three-run homer as Minnesota put up a 10-spot.
"Some really big innings out there," Gardenhire said. "One of those nights where we got on a roll, started swinging and the ball kept falling and finding holes."
The 10 fifth-inning runs equaled the Twins' season high for an inning, which they previously recorded on Aug. 6 in Cleveland.
The Twins also set a season high for most hits in an inning in the fifth, knocking out eight. Minnesota had previously recorded seven hits in an inning three times, the latest coming ... about an hour earlier, in the second inning.
"It just epitomizes fun," Twins designated hitter Josh Willingham said. "That's what you like to do is go out and bang the ball around. Obviously, you don't score that many runs or get that many hits often, but just enjoy it."
"Fun" didn't necessarily describe Tuesday for the White Sox.
"This is just one of those we'll forget and play tomorrow," White Sox manager Robin Ventura said.
While Quintana (5-4, 3.68 ERA) took the loss -- giving up seven runs in 1 1/3 innings -- he didn't have the ugliest line among White Sox pitchers. That belonged to right-hander Philip Humber, who was charged with eight runs on seven hits and two walks while only recording one out, which came on a sacrifice fly. Humber also allowed two inherited runners to score.
In fact, the best line of the night came from White Sox outfielder Dewayne Wise, who pitched a scoreless ninth inning.
"It was just non-stop," Gardenhire said. "Balls were flying all over the place -- as they always do in this ballpark -- and, fortunately, we were on the good side of it."
Every Twins starter recorded at least one hit, with only three -- Jamey Carroll, Joe Mauer and Parmelee -- getting only one. Ryan Doumit, who homered in the seventh, led the way with three hits, while Parmelee drove in a career-high four runs.
Former White Sox infielder Eduardo Escobar got his first start with the Twins after being recalled from Triple-A Rochester earlier in the day. Escobar, who was acquired on July 28 for Francisco Liriano, went 2-for-4 with three RBIs, including a two-run single in the first.
"Everybody contributed tonight up and down our lineup and that's a beautiful thing," said Willingham, who went 2-for-3.
Twins left-hander Scott Diamond (11-6, 3.35) earned the win in his return from a six-game suspension for throwing a pitch near the head of Texas' Josh Hamilton on Aug. 23.
Diamond showed a bit of rust in the opening inning, as a Paul Konerko groundout and consecutive two-out RBI hits by Alex Rios and Dayan Viciedo gave the White Sox an early 3-0 lead.
The lefty rebounded from the 29-pitch first inning to allow only one more run, on a fourth-inning RBI double by Alexei Ramirez. He threw five innings to earn his first win since Aug. 6, the last time the Twins scored 10 runs in an inning.
"It's hard not to notice when we're putting up big runs in just one inning," Diamond said when asked if he was mindful of the high run support. "I can't complain, that's for sure."
Anthony Swarzak and Luis Perdomo combined to allow four runs on five hits, all doubles, in the eighth inning and Perdomo allowed one more in the ninth.
Despite Chicago's five late runs, the Twins had plenty of cushion.
"I don't know what more you can say about a game like that," Gardenhire said. "It's just nuts."